The Man Who Fell To Earth
intro to [[Brows Held High], only with the guitar from "Space Oddity". We see the cover of '''David Bowie: Loving the Alien', a biography by.Christopher Sandford. The book slowly lowers to reveal Oancitizen, his face illuminated by a rose-colored light.]'' Oancitizen:David Bowie made a film David Bowie made a film About a spaceman whose whole life has gone downhill David Bowie was the star [A countdown from 10 is heard in the background] Rip Torn was in it, so was Candy Clark The Criterion Collection sells it now Oancitizen (speaking really fast): Released in 1976, under the direction of Nicolas Roeg, director of Walkabout, Performance and Don't Look Now! David Bowie's cinematic debut... [DVD box for '''The Man Who Fell To Earth]' '' Oancitizen:It was called The Man Who Fell To Earth It doesn't make much sense from the movie There's some 70s' style trip-out scenes scenes, and there Are some holes throughout the plot, but I declare card for the movie I could like The Man Who Fell To Earth It's tragic as it's strange Science fiction's rarely filmed in quite this way It's more than green men from outside the Milky Way close-up, then him in front of a mirror 'Cause here is a movie with a message Sorry that it's there? But it has some nudes, so if that does it for you does air guitar. Then as scenes of an explosion in the sky appear, the music changes to "Ziggy Stardust", showing a meteor falling into a lake. The songs are now mostly sung along with scenes from the movie Bowie lands on Earth, crashing in a mountain lakeside And he walks down a hill Towards Haneyville Almost hit by a car, He does things on the wing He goes to pawn a ring "Thomas Jerome Newton" of the Fringe character with that name Is the name that he calls himself Passport's made in Great Britain But we know that he's from space; I mean, just look at that face! [music ends as Bowie\Newton meets patent attorney Oliver Farnsworth. Then starts the guitar intro to "Fame"... '' '''Newton': I want a lawyer who is well-versed in [British pronunciation] patents. to American pronunciation. Patents. Oliver: That's me. Oliver: I don't believe it. I can't believe it. You have nine basic patents here. Nine! Newton: In say three years, what would this be worth to me? Oliver: I'm a lawyer, not an accountant, Mr.Newton. But I'd say it must be somewhere in the area of...three hundred million dollars? Newton: Not more? Oliver: More? Newton: I need more. Oliver: What the hell for?!] Kyle:Fame! Comes with wealth, which comes with patents Fame! Gets you fans on a college campus Rip Torn! Fame! Rip Torn sleeps with all his students Shame! scene, with the text, "...I'm so sorry" Shame! It racks you brain, to see his vein, in the hands of naked co-eds, it's Shame…ful talks into Rip's censored-with-a-rooster “Yeah, you're not at all like my father”... Kyle (looking as if he's coming down with a migraine): Pain... [Rip Torn's Dr. Nathan Bryce argues with his boss, Professor Canutti. '' '''Bryce': What they need is some real stimulus, some ideas to pursue. Canutti: Well, we've had enough of your "pursuits". Canutti: While you're at it, why don't you go get a job with that great company of yours? Bryce ''(walking out):' I believe I will! ''another scene, Newton's Cadillac stops at a hotel '''Newton (to the receptionist): Sussex, I have a reservation. ''He rushes to the closing elevator where a female bellhop, Mary-Lou, has taken his bags. Newton: No, I'll take that. Mary-Lou: It's five flights. As the elevator starts to go up, Newton faints. Mary-Lou: Are you all right? Mary-Lou bodily carries the unconscious Newton to his hotel room as "As the World Falls Down" starts.] He meets a young girl When he passed out Her name is Mary-Lou Offers him gin And she's a girl And your love interest 'Cause she's a… girl Kyle (speaking): Only female character in the film, mind you Brings him a TV Offers him wine He watches six screens This image might work in all the ads This is the image used in the ads (shows two posters with Bowie sitting in front of a wall of TVs. Caption: "The international ones, at least...") Now she's Bowie's girl, Rip Torn works for the World Enterprise Corporation, while Bowie's got it all He's becoming more human And he sings a song struggles to sing "Jerusalem" in a church. A baffled Kyle then starts "The Man Who Sold The World" He cannot sing a note Funny injoke, that He rides back to Haneyville Begins to see some sand And much to his surprise Flashback Saran-wrapped transvestites With plastic tubing Oh, they all must be his folks Oh no Now he's Begun to lose control He's face To face With the men from his old world? says "Tommy? Tommy?" as Newton doesn't react. Sound cue: The Who's "Tommy Can You Hear Me"... Tommy, can you hear me Can you feel me near you Kyle: Tom-- stops Scratch that. ["Suffragette City" plays along sex scenes covered by censor bar reading "Nekkid"] Now he's Got a girl and a place Now he's Ready to go back to space Now he's Got Rip Torn by his side They're gonna build a rocket ship to serve as his ride But he's Watching too much TV But he's Drinking too much GT But he's Hearing voices all round His media saturation's getting, It's getting, Oh, his brain's getting fried He's succumbing to his vices From here his life becomes shitty See his eyes getting wide He's surrounded by devices That make his life become shitty It's not right It's quite a sight cowers in chair as TVs play stock footage all around him. He screams "Get out of my mind, all of you!" Kyle ''(speaking):' Oh... well, this was adapted from a novel, but still, the similarities... oh, I need a chorus for this one! Hey, Alison ''(Obscurus Lupa shows up), Justin (JewWario), Lindsay (Lindsay Ellis), Todd (ToddInTheShadows)... any of you guys wanna sing "Magic Dance"? JewWario: Yes! Todd: Yeah! Yay! Lindsay: Yes! Cool! Awesome! Spectacular! Magic Dance plays Kyle: He reminds me of the song '''Lindsey: What song? '' Kyle: The song from the album Todd: What album? Kyle: The one about Stardust Lupa: Who dust? Kyle: He does Jewario: Does what? Kyle: Remind me of the song (Lupa and Jew Wario laugh) Kyle: Quiet! speaking Now, hear me out: it's not much of a stretch that the director adapted the story to fit David Bowie's stage persona! Well? Lupa, Todd and Lindsay laughing Lindsey: I don't get it... Kyle: Now Ziggy Stardust Was an alien on Earth And he was doomed of Bowie as Ziggy Stardust on stage To fall to human vice And leave his people and leave his people blue Director knew! Kyle: Nicolas Roeg must have known about this! Lupa: Man from space! Todd: This is a case... Jew Wario'' (dressed as Jareth from Labyrinth): Of casting your actor... '''Kyle': Based on his works! All: Cast gimmick cast! Cast gimmick cast! Cast gimmick cast! Cast gimmick cast! Lupa: Spaceman rock star, don't you see? four dance All: Lift, movie lift Lift, movie lift Lift, movie lift Lift, movie lift Lindsay and Lupa: Lift your themes and just copy Jarwario: A song from David Bowie Kyle'' (speaking): It's obvious, right? I mean, it's not like the movie suffers for it, but it's worth pointing out. ''to the film, Rip Torn putting a camera behind the air conditioner as "Life on Mars" begins Kyle: Rip Torn sets up a homemade bug While Bowie gives his GT a chug Rip Torn takes his new photo home Bowie's getting a badly drawn glow Back at home, Bowie's being mean While Mary Lou wants to make him cream He throws cookies into the air Cut to alien spinning scene But he can't hide it anymore As she's banging upon the door And he opens the door for her And then Mary Lou looks at his Strange eyes Underneath his bald head Oh man Pisses herself in fright with a Wiimote Didn't she see the title? to title card And then we're shown an ab- -normal Interspecies sex scene Oh man How can she be this dumb? Of course we all saw this coming He's a man from Maaaaaars--ACK! (spoken in disgust) God''damn'', that's high! played with "Starman" Then we explain what Thomas 'N's about His homeworld's under a nasty drought That's why his family's wearing White jumpsuits Keeps the water in Planet Earth has lots of water And so his children expect their father To go to Terra and bring back some Evian [said as he opens and drinks a water bottle' Kyle: (Speaking) Again, Ziggy Stardust. He's a starman, come down from the sky We've known that from the start, but now we have a reason why He's a starman, come down for a drink Rip Torn seems fairly mellow Mary Lou could use a shrink And he tells her "Get the children water Bring the planet water Before the children shrivel up." plays as a spaceship is shown, along with a reporter saying "This is a unique moment in the history of space exploration. Never before has one man planned to travel single-handed..." Now the rocket's going to launch tonight And the astronaut Jim Lovell has a cameo here Media frenzy around the pad But things won't go so sweet Cause the lawyer's been in debt now And Rip Torn's talked to the feds So his convoy's stopped by police The men in black have found him out In-ca-ca-cerated! Captured by the feds In-ca-cerated! His lawyer reenacts Watchmen as the lawyer jumps out of a window In-ca-ca-cerated! Locked inside a suite In-ca-cerated! His wife can visit, but he's still a prisoner She may come in But he can't get out puts a gun on his mouth. '' '' Mary-Lou: Mmmm! Bad boy! Thomas approaches. Thomas'' (approaching Mary-Lou): Do you know what I think? '''Mary-Lou': What? Thomas: I think you know —you know too much about me. I can kill you right here on this bed. And then they'd take your body away, and then I'd have them send up another girl. Sleep well! Mary-Lou: No! No! fires as she screams. "Let's Dance" plays along with scenes of gunshots and sex intercut. Mary-Lou Won't they come in? The noise! [Cut to Kyle, clearly baffled.] Kyle: GUN SEX! They both start necking while firing blanks GUN SEX And the song they play is--ugh!--"Hello, Mary Lou" GUN SEX Uh, Jesus Christ, I can't even tell, I can't even tell what THE HECK This is meant to even symbolize [later scene, along with the intro to "Ashes to Ashes". Thomas: I've proved everything I'm gonna prove. I've gone as far as I'm going. Mary Lou: I don't love you anymore.] But Mary Lou, she won't stay with him Because the love is gone His contact lenses are burnt into his head Oh no, he's forever human And both his old friends are together now shown side-by-side with himself Rip's happy Candy's happy too They've aged quite a bit Rip Torn wears a Santa suit The government just lets him go one day They've all the info they need from him And he still has money, and he still has booze So now Bowie's stuck on this planet alone(lone, lone, lone, lone) Ashes to ashes Funk to funkered Now our Mister Tom's a drunkard Strung out on G&T Hitting an all-time low... [Newton wearing sunglasses and drinking. Newton: I may not see so well anymore, still have money. He drops his glass. A waiter picks it up. Waiter: Ah, I think maybe Mr. Newton has had enough, don't you? Bryce: I think maybe he has.] ends. Cut to Kyle in a dark background, as "Heroes" plays. That And that was the film And I think that You should see the film At times At times, it can't hold together But it's weird And dazzling, and certainly clever It's all pure Bowie Summed up in one film It It has great pathos (really great pathos) Despite Being slightly camp (slightly camp) And the gun of the GUN SEX! scene The gun scene was silly (gun scene was silly) I'd explain it But I really just can't (really just can't) But still Bowie sure can hold a screen He's weird But dazzling, and certainly clever It's all pure Bowie Summed up in one film It's all pure Bowie (Speaking: This was really hard to do.) It's all pure Bowie It's all pure Bowie to the sound of Flight of the Conchords's "Bowie's In Space". A card thanks Allison "China Girl" Pregler, Todd "Spider From Mars" Nathanson, Justin "God-Given Ass" Carmichael and Lindsay "Mellow-Thighed Chick" Ellis Kyle, quoting from Labyrinth: What's said is said. Go back to your room and play with your toys and your costumes. 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